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Differences between Men
and Women :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First
Men:
-
All men are extremely
busy.
-
Although they are so
busy, they still have time for women.
-
Although they have time
for women, they don't really care for them.
-
Although they don't
really care for them, they always have one Around.
-
Although they always
have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.
-
Although they try their
luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.
-
Although the women
leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try
their luck with others.
Now Women:
-
The most important
thing for a woman is financial security.
-
Although this is so
important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.
-
Although they always
buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
-
Although they never
have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.
-
Although they always
dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
-
Although their clothes
are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.
-
Although they expect
you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you.
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PAST AND NOW
A
program was ... a television show
An application was .. for employment
Windows were..... something u hated to clean
A cursor ... used profanity
A keyboard was ...a piano
Memory was..... something u lost with age
A CD was... a bank account
If u unzipped in public u went to jail
Compress was something u did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut.. u did with scissors
paste.. u did with glue
A web was a spiders home
A Monitor was some one who used to keep watch on classmates in
absence of teacher or
A Monitor was class (School's) representative
A Desktop was desk's top surface.
And a virus was the flu!!
... Times surely have changed
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JUST LAUGH IT OUT
If you think your boss is stupid................remember you wouldn't have a
job if he was any smarter.
I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
If it's true that we are here to help others...........then, what exactly
are the others here for?
Should women have children after 35????????? Noooooo, 35 is too many.
Living on Earth may be expensive.... but it includes a free trip around the
Sun every year.
Can you do anything that other people can't?..... Sure, I can read my
handwriting.
If you are a vegetarian just because you want to be good to animals......
then why eat their food.
Whiskey kills slowly................. What's the hurry?
The best way to prevent hangover is......... to stay drunk.
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
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Marital Arts
Why do couples hold hands during the wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives
A man who surrenders when he's wrong..........is Honest.
A man who surrenders when not Sure.............. is Wise.
A man who surrenders even if he's Right........... is a Husband.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead. Should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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